Most of the coaching I am doing at the moment is on time management and where women, especially, seem to struggle (sorry it is a generalisation but there is some truth in it) is in the area of saying no.
Here are some suggestions:
Prioritise
“I’m sorry. That’s not a priority for me right now.”
“I can’t help you on this now, but I can get to it next week. Would that be okay?”
“I have made so many commitments to others, it would be unfair to them and you if I took on anything more at this point.”
Prioritise with agreement
“Sure I can help you with your request as long as we both agree and understand that the item I agreed to do for you yesterday is going to have to wait.”
“I’m sure we’re close enough that when I say ‘no’ you’ll understand it’s for a good reason.”
Delegate
“I have so much on my plate now I don’t know when I can get to it. But I do know someone over here who can help you now.”
“Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few things so that you might be able to do it yourself.”
“If I can’t give you a ride to the school dance on Friday, how else would you get there safely?”
“Before I take this over from you, what do you think we ought to do about it?”
Planning
“I don’t know how soon I can help you on this, but I will get back to you as soon as I am free to help you.”
“Now that’s the type of thing I would love to help you on if only I had the time.”
Planning/resources – time expectation
“I would like to help you out on this but you understand I don’t have the resources available to do the right job for you.”
Decision
“No.”
And as you speak, smile!